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Indiliel
Germany






Indiliel


Indil
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
Germany



Welcome to my dA-page =)!
I do various types of art (both traditional and digital drawings, photography, manips,
fanart & original art, sewing/designing clothes & accessoirs, creating & upgrading all
kinds of objects). My favourite fandoms I enjoy to do fanart with are Tolkien's universe,
Legend of Zelda, The Elder Scrolls, Halo and Harry Potter. In general I love SciFi and
Fantasy and I am a passionate gamer :aww:.
When taking pictures I prefer nature themed photos including landscapes, flora and fauna.
With all I love water-related themes :love:
I know my gallery might seem pretty chaotic due to the fact I do so many different things :D.


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Interests

Ok, what now...

Fri Jan 30, 2015, 11:49 AM
Ok, so now finally my first vacation after working for over 7 months started and what message do I get from my PhD project manager: our finances were declined for the second time! Same jerkface judged and declined. The same jerkface who has personal issues with the project manager.  

So, yippee! (please insert a good amount of sarcasm!)

What do people do in such situations? Most people just switch to a different job and be done with it. I don’t because I can’t imagine being anything else but a scientist. So what do people like that do? They fight. But what if they fought already many battles and lost several times? I have been promised a lot during my university time. Professors made offers and said they had PhDs/jobs. Turned out to be bullshit! I was happy to finally have a job training with my PhD project manager (whom I now cannot call my doctor-father-to-be anymore), who was the first person who was eager to help me out and was upfront with me from the start. But we were turned down now for the second time and it is not quite nice for him since it is because of personal harassment. For me it is not quite nice, because this is my life and my goals that get drained down the toilet. When is it time to give up? I cannot find any motivation in life. Being a scientist means quite all for me. It is the way I think and how I live. I cannot just “do something else”. My best friend who is my closest pupil and studied geology with me is now going to be a police officer. I cannot do that. I mean I was interested in working for the BND, but I do not fulfil the health criteria for becoming a government officer (they are strict about this). I have absolutely no idea what I should do and I have absolutely nobody to ask. Or I should better say, the people who I do ask tell me to do something different, but can’t tell me what!
So, as this happened last year I was depressive for I think…hmmm… the entire year and I just managed to recover and was starting to feel ok. I was really excited to go on vacation now and was all smiles this morning. I can’t really tell how I feel now.

At the moment I am wondering how to define the word failure and thinking about what it means to me. I am wondering how people live on with knowing that their life is a failure? Even if I would do something else which is what I am doing right now already (although I hoped it to be only temporary) it would still mean a fail to me. I do believe in honour. And I do believe there will be no afterlife and therefore I should make the best of the one life given to me, but what if it is not possible? People always try to cheer me up, but no one has succeed in doing so. As thankful I am for the little support I have I still have next to no meaning in life or solutions.

So much for that. I figure I have a week to think about it during my well-planned and now screwed vacation and then it is back to working on a job I really take no pride or meaning from. I do not even give a damn about the money I am earing. It really means completely nothing to me to have money, so that does not motivate me at all to be forced to take a job out of my field.

Anyway I will be afk from the 2nd to the 8th.



  • Mood: Sarcastic
  • Listening to: ASP after the game
  • Reading: no nerve to read atm
  • Watching: FC Bayern München vs. VW Wolfsburg
  • Playing: TES: Oblivion
  • Drinking: water

Journal History

Comments


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:iconnintendo-artist7:
Nintendo-Artist7 Featured By Owner 10 hours ago  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you soooo much for the fave and the submission to your group! !!
Reply
:iconindiliel:
Indiliel Featured By Owner 3 minutes ago
You're welcome =)
Reply
:iconasunochka:
asunochka Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the fav! :aww:
Reply
:iconindiliel:
Indiliel Featured By Owner 23 hours ago
Np :aww:
Reply
:iconseg0lene:
seg0lene Featured By Owner 5 days ago  Student General Artist
Thanks for faving the second episode of Halo Union, hope you like this episode :)
Reply
:iconindiliel:
Indiliel Featured By Owner 4 days ago
You're welcome! I definitely do! I wish I had some time to comment every page, but unfortunately I did not have that much time today. I hope to write at least some comments in the next week =).
Reply
:iconseg0lene:
seg0lene Featured By Owner 4 days ago  Student General Artist
It's okey, I understand :)
Take your time, and thanks ^^
Reply
:iconsuiwart:
SuiwArt Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks a lot for the fav, its very appreciated :D
Reply
:iconindiliel:
Indiliel Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2015
No problem :aww:
Reply
:iconsmilexdraw:
Smilexdraw Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2015  Student Digital Artist
Thank you so much for the favourite!
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